How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
