Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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