She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize