What did we do last night that was yellow?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
