we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
