Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
nutella sex= disaster
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
