I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
