Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
the liver wants what the liver wants
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
