New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
