I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
