i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
