lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
