i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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