So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
