my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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