David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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