hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have aggressive nipples.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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