Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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