why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
