Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
