They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
