Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
