i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
