why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
