I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I CAN MOONWALK!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
