So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i just google imaged poop.
he thought i was a dude.
This house was built for laser tag.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
