Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
