Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
