It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
