you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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