So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
