Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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