i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
