I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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