if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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