she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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