once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize