why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
