This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize