He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
