I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
