I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
