Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
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He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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