There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize