Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
