Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
After last night, I could never be a politician.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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