thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
