Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
