kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
