She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
