i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
