OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
