also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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