Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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