I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
