Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
