we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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