Where did you get a picture of my penis
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
