In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize