So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
We had sex on a dog bed..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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