Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
